In this proud land we grew up strong
We were wanted all along
I was taught to fight, taught to win
I never thought I could fail
No fight left or so it seems
I am a man whose dreams have all deserted
I’ve changed my face, I’ve changed my name
But no one wants you when you lose
Don’t give up
’cos you have friends
Don’t give up
You’re not beaten yet
Don’t give up
I know you can make it good
Though I saw it all around
Never thought I could be affected
Thought that we’d be the last to go
It is so strange the way things turn
Drove the night toward my home
The place that I was born, on the lakeside
As daylight broke, I saw the earth
The trees had burned down to the ground
Don’t give up
You still have us
Don’t give up
We don’t need much of anything
Don’t give up
’cause somewhere there’s a place
Where we belong
Rest your head
You worry too much
It’s going to be alright
When times get rough
You can fall back on us
Don’t give up
Please don’t give up
’got to walk out of here
I can’t take anymore
Going to stand on that bridge
Keep my eyes down below
Whatever may come
And whatever may go
That river’s flowing
That river’s flowing
Moved on to another town
Tried hard to settle down
For every job, so many men
So many men no-one needs
Don’t give up
’cause you have friends
Don’t give up
You’re not the only one
Don’t give up
No reason to be ashamed
Don’t give up
You still have us
Don’t give up now
We’re proud of who you are
Don’t give up
You know it’s never been easy
Don’t give up
’cause I believe there’s the a place
There’s a place where we belong
I really like this song; Peter Gabriel and Kate Bush duet on it but supposedly there is a new version with Bono and Mary J. Blige. I am so tired tonight. A little lonely too, because it is Derby Eve and I am not doing anything, even though I was sort of invited out with Marianne and some others and I had dinner with Natalie from Stock Yards. Oh, and I was invited to Porcini for drinks with Kyla, Brian (hers), Celeste and Stephen, so maybe I am popular.
In other news, I miss my boyfriend. If he were here, I would be snoozing and schmoozing over at his house; however, he went to Massachusetts to interview for a teaching position at a middle school. This is excellent, especially for us if he gets this job. But again, I miss him and he will be gone until next Thursday or Friday. However, as always, I have a busy agenda. But is my busy agenda social or just dorky? Last week, I actually had a bit of fun. On Monday, I worked out and Brian and I went to Gumbo-a-go-go for dinner and then to Dark Star (a bar) to watch the very awesome Red Sox-Yankees game (of course, the Sox won!) and Tuesday, I went to the Jazz Factory with Kyla and Celeste, then to O'Shea's with the girls, Brian and some of his Metro band crew. There have been some issues at work and I hate complaining about it because my job could definitely be worse, but the tension was high between some of the employees this week, including me. I think it is because my bank itself is just becoming shady. Well, I only have three months to go and I want to leave on good terms and get a good reference. Anyway, after staying out until 12:30 on Tuesday night, I just decided to take a sick day from work Wednesday. I still have four sick days left to take now. Brian stayed over, we went to Bob Evans for brunch, and then we went to Churchill Downs to watch a little pre-Derby horse racing. I tried to stay incognito and actually saw a customer and an ex-employee from work. It was quite humorous. They didn't see me though. Then Brian and I ate pizza at his house and I came home and rented "Match Point," a Woody Allen film that was really good. Another must-see film for everyone.
Thursday, I came back to work, which was a little better with the aid of Stephanie, my super-enthusiastic co-worker and good friend. I did a CASA visit right after work, which I feel like I am completely failing at anyway, and then I went to my second job at A Taste of Kentucky. I was tired when I got home, but I wanted to see Brian before he left for Massachusetts, so I went over there and we watched the old version of "Cape Fear." I had a hard time sleeping (not because of what Phil thinks either) and I basically could not sleep past 3 am. And Friday is a super long day at work, so that didn't help. Today is Oaks Day, the precursor for the Kentucky Derby, the greatest two minutes in sports, folks. Oaks Day is the big race for the fillies (female thoroughbreds) and a lot of locals attend, including my brothers. They also happened to meet Eli Manning and asked him if he knew me because we both went to Ole Miss, which obviously, he did not. Anyway, we all dressed up at work and wore hats and dresses, which was fun. Tensions were eased and a Cinco De Mayo potluck was also served for lunch. I made a "Better than sex" chocolate cake, which sometimes is and sometimes isn't. Regardless, it was good.
I am very happy with Brian, which is scary because of my track record with men. He is just a good guy and person. And I feel bad for him now because he failed a part of his graduate school, orals for the trumpet, and has to come back to Louisville in August to retake them to get his master's degree. He is going to stay in Kentucky until the end of June (most likely) and I will probably live with him at the perfectly quaint Eutropia Court, because Bobby and Jason are moving out. And that house will be clean, I am not kidding.
The way I feel now, well, I feel too attached. It is a scary feeling, like losing control over yourself. I want to be independent, but let's face it, I love men and I love having a good one around all the time. I hate being single, and it is rare that I am. Kyla and I are definitely alike in that respect. So I put up a picture of us (even though he doesn't smile in pics) is just because I love him, I love Brian, so very much.
Oh, good news, I get to pay off my car loan with my new student loans that I will be acquiring in the fall for Northeastern. Goodbye, Focus car payment. Hello, fifteen more years of student loans...
